Monday, March 30, 2009

Life's Been Very very Busy

We have a new baby.
We took baby on camping trip.
We drove for 3 hours in the rain Friday night to camp.
I got the flying shits and puking Saturday morning.
Saturday evening we had to drive home.
It took almost 5 hours.
Sunday I recooped all day.
Today Brooke went to work crying from dropping baby off at daycare.
I came to work today too.
I need a raise.
I also think I still have diarrhea.
Are farts lumpy?
I have to play softball tonight.
The song "Diarrhea Cha Cha Cha" comes to mind.
Life sucks.

Monday, October 27, 2008

My Poor Lil S.I.L.

I couldnt help but develop a sense of sadness for my dear sweet Sister-in-law. I'm sitting here at work tonight and as always decided to read up on blogs. (ok so I dont have a very demanding job...) So I go to S.I.L.'s blog to see if she's posted any new pics of the niece (which always make me laugh) but to my suprise and almost cause to sink into a state of depression I find a full blog about her paying $375 to see 5 grown men dance around on stage like they are making some form of come back. Dont get me wrong, I couldn't do it myself, but then again I never claimed to be in a boyband. Now yes, I did pay a pretty penny back in the day to go see the Black Sabbath Reunion Tour, but PLEASEEEE you cant compare New Kids on the Block to Ozzy!! So that all being said I realized that if these Old Kids on the Block can charge that kinda money to get on stage after being M.I.A. for YEARS, Im in the wrong line of work. Her blog, while making me feel very sorry fo her, has also inspired me to follow the money. I have composed my own "man band". We will start the touring in early spring. Tickets will be starting at $75 and ranging up to $200. We will also do the meet and greet package for an extra 6 pack. Below is a pic of the guys. Ladies, please no throwing underwear on stage!!!

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Team Hoyt

Dick and Rick Hoyt are a father-and-son team from Massachusetts who together compete just about continuously in marathon races. And if they’re not in a marathon they are in a triathlon — that daunting, almost superhuman, combination of 26.2 miles of running, 112 miles of bicycling, and 2.4 miles of swimming. Together they have climbed mountains, and once trekked 3,735 miles across America.
It’s a remarkable record of exertion — all the more so when you consider that Rick can't walk or talk.
For the past twenty five years or more Dick, who is 65, has pushed and pulled his son across the country and over hundreds of finish lines. When Dick runs, Rick is in a wheelchair that Dick is pushing. When Dick cycles, Rick is in the seat-pod from his wheelchair, attached to the front of the bike. When Dick swims, Rick is in a small but heavy, firmly stabilized boat being pulled by Dick.

Monday, June 23, 2008

So Far...So Fantastic

Well so far 2008 has been very, very good to me!! Feb I got married to the most fabulous woman to ever walk the Earth, April I bought a new-to-me full sized gas guzzling truck, May we bought Brooke a brand new SUV, June I start my new job. But little did we know what June also had in store....A BABY ON THE WAY!!! WOOT WOOT!! We found out the wife is pregnant and I AM PUMPED!!! Im hoping for a puppy!! hahaah just pickin!! I really really want a boy, but a guy can never have too many "Daddy's Girls". On second thought after a week with my 11 year old and her nearing adolescence....I dont know if I want another walking hormone on wheels...Lets keep our fingers crossed for a little boy. Besides, I can potty train him outside by teaching him to spell his name out on the tree....on the the dirt.....side the house....on mom's get the point. Boys come equipped with their own magic wand LOL!!! Ill keep ya posted....

Saturday, June 14, 2008

First Night Shift

I started the new job and the crew is hilarious!!! However, Im coming off my first 12 hour night shift. I've been here since 6pm. I'm exhausted!! Not that we did anything except cut up and watch Deja Vu. Excellent movie. And to think, everybody thought by me taking a new job I would actually have to work. HA! Anyway, Im ready to go home. Ill try to post something weird on tonights shift.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

One Last Email....

So today I sent out my last hoorah email to all my friends with the company since tomorrow is my last day. I kept it very light and goofy. Nobody woulda believed a serious email from me. I sent it to everybody I know at the company...I think. Now here's the issue. I'm sending out a goodbye email. That DOES NOT mean I need a reply from everyone with "Good Luck". How impersonal is that? If you dont want to actually talk, then dont bother me with a "good Luck" email. It's kinda like saying "So What?" I dont know, just kinda strange... but then again, who cares??? I'm OUTTA HERE!!

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Mitch Hedberg

  • I've never been to a hotel with a rotating restaurant on top, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round, and I gave her a burrito.
  • This one guy said, "Look at that girl. She's got a nice butt." I said, "Yeah, I bet she can sit down excellently!"
  • Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the beat, the next thing you know, your bass player turns into a can of soup.
  • I read that MTV's Real World got 40,000 applications. That's amazing, such an even number. You would have thought it would be 40,008.
  • I ate one anchovy, and that is why I did not eat two anchovies.
  • If you can't sleep, count sheep. Don't count endangered animals. You will run out.
  • If a drink was ice cold, it would be impossible to drink. Because it would be solid. Here's a drink, Mitch - it's ice cold. I guess I could lick it.
  • I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know anybody who has AIDS?". He says, "No". I say, "Cool, because you know me."
  • I did a radio interview; the DJ's first question was "Who are you?" I had to think. Is this guy really deep, or did I drive to the wrong station?
  • Fettuccini Alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.
  • I tried to freshen up a room, so I held a Certs in front of a fan.
  • I'm a mumbler. If I'm walking with a friend, and I say something, he says, "What?" So I say it again, and he says, "What?" Really, it's just some insignificant stuff I'm saying, but now I'm yelling, "That tree is far away!"
  • I was walking down the street with a friend, and he said, "I hear music." As if there was any other way you can take it in. That's how I receive it too. You're not special.
  • You should never tell someone they have a nice dimple, because maybe they were shot in the face with a BB gun.
  • I like baked potatoes. I don't have a microwave oven, and it takes forever to bake a potato in a conventional oven. Sometimes I'll just throw one in there, even if I don't want one, because by the time it's done, who knows?
  • One time I stayed at a haunted motel. When I checked into my room, there was a sheet on the floor, and I thought it was a ghost that had passed out, so I kicked it.
  • A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
  • My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer; she made it half-way. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set.
  • They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. I tried to make it at home. There's more to it than that.
  • I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I said, "Dude, you have to wait."
  • I would like to go fishing and catch a fish stick. That would be convenient. I could easily get a job at Mrs. Paul's.
  • I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
  • When I was a boy, I laid in my twin size bed, wondering where my brother was.
  • Someone handed me a picture and said, "This is a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger. "Here's a picture of me when I'm older." How you'd pull that off? What's that camera look like?
  • I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.
  • On a traffic light yellow means yield, and green means go. On a banana, it's just the opposite, yellow means go ahead, green means stop, and red means, where'd you get that banana?